Recently, we have been attending a Spanish speaking church located on the Students International (SI) campus. In a typical year, dozens of service teams come from North America to serve children in the DR alongside SI. Each team paints a block as a remembrance of their service time.
During the worship service last week, Brennan leaned over and said, “Look Dad, it’s Oregon!” And sure enough, there was the following brick.
The saying, “God is everywhere, but sleeps in Jarabacoa,” is a common phrase heard amongst the residents of Jarabacoa and is a testament to the beautiful surroundings of our town and that fact that it feels so close to heaven being high in the mountains. To me, this block was the perfect reminder of the conflict of a split heart.
Early in our missionary training, and many times since, we have heard that once you enter the mission field, you will always have your heart in two places. Our love for Oregon has never changed, even as our love for the DR has increased.
All four of us have had our turns of missing Oregon and the friends, family, and familiarity that comes from life in the PNW. It can be the thought of a Roth’s Apple Cider doughnut, missing Nana and Papa’s annual pumpkin patch, a worship song we sang with our Creekside church family, funny inside jokes with my YC students, Mimi’s rolls, or countless other random memories that send a sudden pang straight to the heart.
Through all of this, God has been teaching us how we can live in the space of completely conflicting emotions and still be at peace. We can be joyful in the work that God has called us to here and yet be sorrowful at times for what we are missing out on in Oregon. We can be excited for the new doors that are opening yet totally exhausted from all the cultural stresses. We are free to rest in His grace and come as we are, split heart and all. It is here, in that posture, that we find His true, sustaining rest, regardless of our geography.